Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
