so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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