I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
