And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm like, not good at living.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
