She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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