Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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