I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
