all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
