seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm both gender and math confused
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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