Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
