actually, I'm a sock model
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
