I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
