if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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