Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
