It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
