i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
