Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
