It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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