Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
