Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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