Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize