Just mADE A PArabola og urine
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
