even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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