Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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