I want to stick my p in your. b.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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