I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
