Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize