i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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