absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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