You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
