im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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