she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
send nudes
from the living room?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
