Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
