just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
