Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
