I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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