I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
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Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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