Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
