It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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