Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize