I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
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She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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