dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
