overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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