I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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