No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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