Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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