Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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