does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
