How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Life is so much better after having sex.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
