But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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