I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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