I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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