3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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