I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
