Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I did not marry a roomba.
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