Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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