the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
