I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
