You can't motorboat a personality
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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