fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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