also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
