May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
