Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
