Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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