thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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