She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
