Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
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if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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